[photo from 1986 at age 35]
Alexander Henricus Johann Wijdekop
May 13, 1951 - April 20, 2023
Where do I start? Actually, this part of the story really starts on this past Valentine's day, when Astrid and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary:
At one point, and "totally out of the blue," I told Astrid I wanted her to go see her brother, Sander,
next year, not after I died (as we had always discussed), but while I was still alive to witness it.
The thought excited us both and we could hardly wait to tell Sander,
living in Winnipeg, Canada, since 1973, and now on Vancouver Island since 1994.
The next day, I told Astrid she shouldn't wait till next year but should go this year,
because who knows what kind of health any of us will be in a year from now!
Two months later, on April 15th, Astrid was on Vancouver Island for 2 weeks to be with her only sibling/brother whom she hadn't seen in real life since 2004, when their mother died here in the Netherlands.
But after 5 glorious days of being together in person, brother and sister, Sander suddenly, and "totally out of the blue," died of a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm. The surgeon, who spent 1.5 hours trying to save him, said Sander had been a ticking time-bomb for many years. From that, and knowing Sander's greatest fear was dying alone, Astrid has received much peace, believing that Sander waited for her visit to leave this world.
Sander loved to cook and ate as healthily as we strive to do, but...he hated photos of himself,
so it was all Astrid could do to get these photos of him, not knowing they'd be her last.
See the bottom-right bottle of Ardbeg whisky?
On their last day together, after supper, they shared a wee celebration of finally being together again,
with the cheese, chocolate and whisky Astrid brought for him from the Netherlands.
It was their last "healthy" memory before he died at 5:30 the next morning.
Because Sander did NOT have a Will & Last Testament (something they were going to work on together while she was there!), Astrid spent the last 9 days of her visit sorting through 98% of his earthly possessions. Thankfully, she had his best friend of 29 years, Murray, plus the friends across the street, Mike and Val, at her beck and call for everything she needed (crematorium, lawyer, bank, etc.).
And thankfully, through emails and several FaceTimes a day, I was there to help her ride the emotional roller-coaster of her life! Now that she's back home, since April 30th, things are settling down a bit. The ride is slowing down and we're both getting better sleep.
This past Thursday, just 2 days ago, 8 friends gathered at one of Sander's happy places, the Saanich coast near his house, to give their proper Good-Bye:
Mike and Val are the 2 left-end persons in the group photos.
Murray is the one scattering the ashes, with flowers added by the others.
And this is what was read during the ceremony,
as provided by Astrid:
It so happens that today, May 13, 2023, would have been Sander's (Alex's) 72nd birthday.
It would have been Astrid's scheduled time to FaceTime with him again,
as they did faithfully every other Saturday, with emails in-between.
The loss will be tremendous for all who loved and cared for him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dear Sander,
and may you now Rest in Peace.
