Thursday, April 10, 2025

Susan Elizabeth Hart Leys

 
It was bound to happen, sooner or later.  After 29 years, when brother, Bennett, died in 1996 at age 47, the first of us 8 kids, it was sister Susan's turn, the beginning of what will now more quickly be the rest of us.  It's sobering to say it, but it's the truth we all now face at our age.

Bennett is #5 of us.  Susan is #2 and two years my senior.

As you can see, the visitation and funeral in Chicago, IL, were 2 weeks after her death,
giving all of us plenty of time to make travel arrangements.  It was a no-brainer
for Astrid and me from the Netherlands, the farthest, to join the family.

The visitation on Tuesday was made more memorable by the surprise condolences of Steven, one of
our Shutterchance virtual and faithful followers who lives only 30 miles from the funeral home.
We'll never forget his act of kindness and our chance to meet in real life.

It was the funeral on Wednesday, however, that brought us all together in our final hours of goodbye to Susan.  

[photo credit:  Astrid]
As we gathered in the church's anteroom, we sibs tried to hold it all together,
tears and smiles ebbing and flowing...

[photo credit:  Astrid]
...before the obligatory "official" photos were taken.
We are now the 6 remaining sibs, including our adopted Thai sister, DeeDee.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
The 4 boys are now 3 (l to r):  Jim #6, Nelson #1, and John #7.
The 4 girls are now 3 (l to r):  Ruth #8, Dee Dee, Boots/moi #3, and Nancy #4.
Susan #2 and Bennett #5 are sorely missed from this lineup!
And, yes, we girls wore our version of Susan's favorite color, pink.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
Then came Susan's only child Shari with her 3 daughters.

By then it was time for the service, in the church where Susan and husband Rodger were members.
There was an hour's viewing of Susan before the 11am service, after which the casket was closed.

[photo credit:  Paul Hart, nephew]
Susan's husband Rodger stood with his son, Eric, giving one of the eulogies that touched me
the most with it's history and humor of Rodger and Susan's life together, starting at 36:30.
Also, my brother Jim's solo On Eagle's Wings at 14:50.

[photo credit:  Paul Hart, nephew]
Following the service was the interment at a nearby cemetery.
We 6 sibs, plus Dee Dee, were the honorary pallbearers.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
The gravestone.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
After the interment was the luncheon put on by the church.
As the sign says, Susan LOVED Pepsi (NOT COKE) and Dr. Pepper, with lots of ice.
In honor of her, I drank my first Dr. Pepper in eons.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
It was after lunch when the cousins wanted their own lineup, in support of Shari.
They represent the children of 5 of us sibs who were able to attend, l to r:
Dave (Nelson), Stacy and Nate (Jim), Shari (Susan), Eric (Nancy), Amy (moi), Paul (Jim).

And YES, that's my daughter Amy who flew from Atlanta to support me.
Like with Steven, it's a gesture I never expected and will never forget.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
This time they included the spouses who were able to come!

[photo credit:  Astrid's phone by Kathy, niece-in-law???]
Followed by us sibs with OUR spouses, all present and accounted for
(except, sadly, for John and wife Sandy who had already headed back home)!

By then it was time to go back to our hotels, or wherever, to rest before our final get-together as an extended family that evening at the Olive Garden.

[photo credit:  Astrid]
It was a different goodbye this time, before going back to life as normal.
As so often happens, joy and laughter with each other reminded us to live in the moment,
while still hanging on to the memory of Susan.

Susan would have loved this celebration of her life!  She would turn 82 in May, just before I turn 80 in June, and will always be my big sister, even though I had minimal contact with her over the last years of her life.  All I know is that after a lifetime of untold physical ailments, of which rheumatoid vasculitis was one of the last, she is FREE AT LAST!

A TEAR and a SMILE!

P.S.  This post is not about the week's trip Astrid and I made to Michigan for this goodbye to Susan, staying with Don and Ruth at their new home in Lansing.  That's another post waiting in the wings....


13 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your sister, my friend. Such a beautiful family as a wonderful legacy!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you most kindly, Marie. Even midst the sorrow of such a gathering, it was so good to be with the family again. The last time was in 2018 at the funeral of Nelson's wife. We've got to stop meeting like this!

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  2. This is a great post, Mom, and nice to see the photos. I'm so glad I made the trip, not only to see you and Astrid, but also to see family I had not seen in so long. I also had no idea that Susan was a Pepsi lover, but now I know we have at least one thing in common. :-)

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    1. Thank you, Amy, and LOL about the Pepsi. It was ALWAYS known about Susan that Pepsi, NOT COKE, was her thing. HA! But wait. Don't you have a coke every morning at your drive-thru???? Now I'm confused! But, seriously, I'm so glad you had a connection again with the family. I know it meant a lot to them that you were there.

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  3. I love the words and photos you’ve shared, Boots. It’s amazing to me that you could be here for this occasion. It is a privilege to reflect on our sister’s life and share our memories, thoughts, and love. This post adds your special touch to the experience for me, thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Bless you, dear sister! As we all know by now, we each witness the same events in different ways, just like in the Gospels we grew up with those many years ago. I would love to see similar posts from all of us sibs who were part of this family milestone, to get the fuller story of what we all witnessed!

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  4. I am so happy that we were able to make this trip, Ginnie. To be with the family and have a proper farewell for Susan. As always a funeral is with a tear and a smile. It was good to be there and your pictures show. That Steven was there was a total pleasant surprise, Bless him for coming. Thank you for making this post, also for people that were not able to attend. IHVJ.

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    Replies
    1. You are always my Partner in Crime and in Right, Astrid, for which I am eternally grateful. It wouldn't have been the same without you. We're both very fortunate that we were able to go. Thank you.

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  5. What a beautiful and loving farewell to your sister

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    Replies
    1. Thank you most kindly, Marjolein. Hartstikke bedankt.

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  6. Boots - you have done such a beautiful job with this blog - you have encapsulated our sorrows and our joys - what more can be said? I appreciate your thoughtfulness and the time you put into it to express what we all feel as Susan's siblings. Thank you for saying out loud what our hearts are feeling. This blog will stand the test of time, so that we can come back and reread it when our hearts are in need. Love. Love.

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  7. Anonymous equals Nancy.

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    1. Dear, dear Nancy! Your words have touched me deeply, for which I thank you. I often find that if I don’t write down “ immediately” what has just happened, over time it gets lost in its details. This post is to help us remember the details, lest we forget. I love you and your part in our lineage!

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