Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I'm Scared

Since Donica and I fly home to Atlanta on Friday (but just for the weekend--more about that in my next post), I'm thinking about the BLB (Big Little Boy) that I miss so much, so I have to tell you a Nicholas story! This is one Amy told me in a chat last week from the night before his last day of school (1st grade).

But first, some history. Santa Donica gave Nicholas his first hand-held device for Christmas last year. It was a BIG deal. It came with a couple games and all the paraphernalia for keeping it charged and safe.
BUT, it also came with some very strict rules and regulations that Amy set down for him. One rule was that he was NEVER under any circumstances to take it with him to school or daycare!

Well, guess what! A couple months ago, Nicholas got caught TWICE with his Nintendo DS, at school AND daycare. Even after a long suspension the first time, he still did it again. Here was our sweet, little, innocent, mommy-pleasing boy--breaking the rules twice. We ALL were upset (including his teacher!), wondering what he was acting out, etc.

So, back to the story. As Amy was putting Nicholas to bed the night before his last day at school last week, he said, "Mommy, I don't know if I'm ready for 2nd grade . . . I'm scared." To which she said that he was definitely ready and that he had done so well and she was so proud of him.

Then he said, "Yeah, but I got in trouble too much!"

She then reminded him that he's learned from his mistakes and, now that he's finished with 1st grade, he's a bigger boy and will learn to make the right choices.

And he said, "Yeah, 'cuz in 2nd grade you don't get any chances!"

OMG! Talk about a heart-melter.

THEN, to add to the story, Amy said that she immediately remembered later that when he was born almost 7 years ago, just before she went off to the delivery room, her dad was the last one to hug her and had tears in his eyes. As she hugged him, she whispered, "I'm scared!"

I still can't think of this whole story without getting totally choked up. Right now I don't have anything that's scaring me, but if/when I do, I'm quite sure I will remember this chat/post!


  1. Awww, thanks for capturing this story in such a beautiful post, Mom! And I love the picture you chose. He IS heart-melter and he brings me so much joy every single day!

  2. Tears! Thank you for this. I'm so impressed with Amy's wisdom. Our kids do need to learn from mistakes, and I'm afraid too many parents are protecting their kids from making them.

    I read this morning, in Rumi, something like: Courage doesn't come before the war. The implication is that it comes during. We don't need it beforehand!

  3. The first thing I thought when I read your title was: "OMG! What happened?!" I'm now relieved to hear that it's nothing "serious", except of course in the eyes of BLB :)

    Mistakes and anxiety are part of life, but luckily, there are the good moments to make up for it. Here's a quote that I read just recently: "Life is like a rainbow: it takes rain and sunshine to make it colourful"

    That was me (deleted comment). Makes more sense this way ;)

  4. Amy: I know he brings you joy, and us, too, which is why his deliberate disobedience was so frustrating for us all. I do think there was the "being cool with the older guys" thing which was more important to him than getting caught. Still, I'm glad it's over...till the next time. :)

    Ruth: I am VERY impressed with Amy's parenting, I agree. It can't be easy being a single parent!!! I like your Rumi quote!

    CS: I'm so sorry I scared you! :( I was hoping I wouldn't. But it really was such a precious story. And your thoughts are so true. Thank you. (I deleted your deleted comment. :)

  5. Tears in my eyes for sure! What a wonderful Mom Amy is. Little boys are so special. Having one who is now very big - enjoy every precious moment and I know you ALL do. Ginnie - thanks so much for sharing.

  6. That's beautiful, Ginnie. Was she worried he heard her through the womb? I hope not. I guess we all go through life scared but it all works out the way it's supposed to be.

  7. Ginnie - Thank you for relaying this beautiful and touching story. I am blessed to increasingly see this special relationship firsthand and I marvel at the trust and unconditional love that Amy and Nicholas share. As the son of a mother gifted with similar wisdom and generosity, I know that these experiences will serve Nicholas well for a lifetime. I also know that because this is such an inherent part of Nicholas' life, an amazing legacy is being created that will passed on for generations. I am absolutely inspired. Thank you, Ginnie, Amy and Nicholas!

  8. Judy: You are so welcome and I DO know that you know! You produced one of the best "boys" on the face of the earth. And I mean that sincerely!

    RRD: No, I don't think that was it, Stacey. I just think those words, "I'm scared" reminded her of the only time (she says) she can recall saying that. But the connection IS intersting, isn't it. Those two are definitely joined at the hip. :)

    Dennis: You are that other incredible "boy," sir! I declare. The two of you are giving me a run for the money! :) If Nicholas is able to verbalize things as well as you in the years to come, he will definitely be "another Dennis" for a very lucky woman!

  9. We've been talking about this topic in our home this past week--going on from having made mistakes. It can be challenging when the mistakes made are bigger than a Nintendo! Then of course, there are the mistakes that children become aware of in their parents that provide even more opportunities for growth in new areas for all. It is always a humbling place to be in when I've blown it with one of my daughters or husband, and the lesson to learn is asking them to extend forgiveness, move past it, and thereby strengthen the relationship.

    I agree with Ruth that parents who shield their children from making their own mistakes and learning more about self and others as a result, aren't serving them well.

    Thanks for sharing!!

  10. Nicholas is growing up to be a very perceptive young man! BTW my YoungerSon's middle name is Nicholas.... good strong name.
    How lovely for you to have such a special boy in your family.

  11. A story with a profound lesson. As a teacher for 30 years, there was not a time when I returned to new classes in the fall that I was not scared. I think the same is true of most teachers. I will add that the feeling of being scared was also mixed with excitement. I think that combination may be necessary for any important endeavor.

  12. Mrs. M: "And a little child shall lead us" comes to mind! Thanks for sharing, Shari!

    Ex-S: We are very lucky indeed! I like that Amy is being careful to keep his name as Nicholas for as long as possible. Eventually kids will call him Nick (like his dad's and g'pa's name), I presume. But for now, it's the strong Nicholas!

    Emery Roth II: Speaking of a strong name, yours is definitely one of them, Ted. :) Thank you so much for sharing this story from a teacher's perspective.

  13. Aww, Isn't he a sweetheart? And it seems he DOES have a strong sense of right and wrong, even if did give into temptation a couple of times. And how nice that he can be honest about his emotions with his mom. That's SO important for little boys especially.

    Have a great trip back to Atlanta (and a safe return!) if you're not gone yet. :-)

  14. Christina: I totally agree! His heart is tender and he is very close to and honest with his mommy! And I know you know about these things!

    We are now back in Atlanta...and tired but getting a second wind. :)

  15. i did post a comment here Ginnie..seems to have disappeared ..i wnated to tell u how much i loved the little story u shared here with us ...I am far from motherhood stage right now.....but one day when I'll be a mom, I think i'll remember this story...:)
    Hope u r having a great time in Atlanta ..:)

  16. Oh, that was just too cute a story. Love that photo, too. I know the lure those machines have. My son has sneaked his to school before when he wasn't allowed. Now he is allowed because he rides the bus, and it helps him ignore the "in your face" kids (troublemakers who sometimes pick on him) if he can absorb himself in his DS.

  17. I'm so happy to hear that there was nothing wrong either..

    What a great story!!!

    And geeze I am so behind on blogging!

  18. Moi: That is so sweet of you to say this. That means a lot!

    Karen: Ahhh. So my g'son isn't the only one, I see. Why does that give me comfort. :)

    ET: Thanks. Nothing wrong in the eternal scheme of things! :)

  19. I loved that story! So are you saying the 2nd grade is as scary as having a baby?! Wow, everything is relative!