The Witty Professor

Okay, she's also a bit Nutty but at age 97, she's totally allowed, don't you think!

Auntie Sue. Last living relative from the generation above us. Born June 28, 1910. The 6-1/2-year-older sister of my dad.

My 1033-mile round trip from Atlanta to Bridgewater, VA, on Monday and Tuesday was well worth the 3-1/2 hours I spent with her. A handful of weeks ago she was on her deathbed, refusing food, drink and meds, except for Morphine. We thought we had lost her. So I made the decision to go see her "one last time," opting out for now rather than later at her funeral, in case it happens while I'm in Amsterdam.

But after being with her those 3-1/2 hours, we may have one stubborn aunt who decides to live to 100!

Now, pay attention. Think of anyone you know who almost never cracks a smile but everyone around is breaking up in stitches, laughing. That's Auntie Sue. Look carefully. That's a smile on her face and is about as big of a smile as you'd get at even half her age.

There it is again. So what is it about her?! Why does everyone in our family want to be around her. Why does she crack everyone up!

As I sat next to her recliner, facing her the entire time, it started hitting me what it is. For 3-1/2 hours there was not one minute of silence between us. If I wasn't talking, she was talking. I'd give her a chance to be quiet but she'd pop right in with something else.

After awhile, I started really paying attention to what she was saying and then it hit me. Her speech is loaded with witticisms. Things we don't normally hear in everyday speech. Or maybe we do, but when they come out of her genteel southern drawl, they just sound magical.

Pay attention. When her hand goes up to her forehead, something pretty important is ready to come out of her mouth.

Her mouth gets warmed up...

...and out it comes.

Oh yes, she then puts her stamp of approval on it...

...and that reminds her of something else.

During her 'nutty' times, you could see it in her eyes. She looked at her bed and wondered who had slept in IT last night. She said, "I'm going to have the time of my life working up this room tomorrow! I'm not too sure but I may call it quits here."

But then just like that, she'd turn to me and say "No one will have to rock YOU to sleep tonight" (remembering that I had just driven from Atlanta!).

She wanted to know what that monstrosity was in front of my face and I told her it was my camera. "Well, I sure hope I don't break THAT!" (HA! Me, too!)

Then off onto something else, like, "You know, when I was in the hospital, I remember seeing on TV that Ruth Graham was sick. Did she die?" I told her yes, but that Billy was still alive. "Well, he'll be next!"

Every time she went into this hand-over-face mode, I thought she was getting ready to nod off to sleep.

But no, a second later she'd rub her eyes and remember something new to say.

As I sat there, I took out a piece of paper and started writing things down....

A friend walked by the room with her walker and A.S said, "We've had our ups and downs, back-n-forths, and so on and so forth," and I thought, WOW. What better way to describe friendship!

"Fiddle sticks!.... Boy! I'm telling you!.... I can't keep up with everyone [when I told her about the different kids in the family].... I nearly dropped my teeth when I saw it this time [the dining room refurbished].... Turn about's fair play.... I had enough traveling last month. They sent me to Panama. I wouldn't have gone on my own [telling about having to go see the Army at the high school last month].... You can always do it but you can't un-do it!.... I've had every speck I want.... Now the thing that bothers me.... How in the world.... I was interested in it but not enough to worry about it. I don't know if you know that about me, that I don't worry very much...."

"Talking about that Army business.... I was the first to get on. What am I trying to say? They grouped us all together. We had a time. It was really something. They did such-n-such...."

"It always has been and, I'm sure, always will be a puzzle to me...."

At one point she wanted to know how many more grandGIRLS there were vs. grandBOYS by now. I did some quick math and came up with 22 g'girls and 16 g'boys. Her immediate response was "SIX!" Then she added, "I can't count." HA! The thing is, she CAN. Later she told me that all that used to be important to her was "NUMBERS, NUMBERS, NUMBERS." When I said she was a mathematician and that that was unusual for girls in her time, she said, "Oh, not for me. I was all about numbers."

She told me that last month she really went through the wringer. "I wouldn't ever want to do that again if my life depended on it!"

"They do have good food here. There's no joke about that!"

"I can't even remember when.... I have no idea.... I started to say something.... I don't know.... Boy, I'll tell ya.... All I know is.... I don't know what I'm talking about. What am I trying to say.... I might as well shut up!"

NO NO NO, Aunty Sue. Please don't ever shut up. PLEASE DON'T EVER SHUT UP.