Thursday, October 18, 2018

Condolences for Nelson, Elder of the Tribe


This is not the post anyone ever wants to write, nor would the recipient of it ever wish to be called the Elder of the Tribe.

But this is for Nelson, my brother, who IS the elder of those of us who remain...the very one you have already met here from this past January when he visited us here in the Netherlands for a week.

Nelson's wife Peggy, of 53 years, "passed over the bridge" last evening.
Four days earlier, last Saturday, she suffered a bleeding stroke from which she never recovered.
It was sudden and, one could say, a blessing that it all came and went so quickly.
[recent image from sister, Ruth]

One of my favorite memories of Peggy is how relational she was with all generations.
She would always seek you out to find out how YOU were doing.
This was her gift which she gave freely, seeking nothing in return.

In 2006 she was as physically well as I've ever seen her.
But over the last years her health deteriorated.

Now we all deal with the emotional shock, of course.
Our brother, Bennett, died in 1996 (age 47), 22 years ago...our generational level.
We knew, with 8 kids, plus spouses, this time would come.
Within the next 22 years I'm guessing most of us will be gone,
so this is hitting hard.

Little did we know you would go before us, Nelson, after the untimely death of Bennett.
You didn't intend to lead us but it has fallen to you...and now we follow.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Astrid and I had not originally planned to fly back to Michigan for the memorial service,
but we will do just that as we find out the details.  We want to be together as sibs.
I'll keep you informed...


19 comments:

  1. Ginnie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Having my husband pass away ten days ago and his funeral last Friday I understand the terrible pain we feel when a close member of our family leaves us. My deepest condolences to you and Astrid, to your sister Ruth and the rest of your family. Thank you for your kind email about my husband’s passing.

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    1. Thank you, dear Vagabonde, for commenting here. You struggled so long with Jim's dementia, as Nelson did with Peggy's ailments. It becomes a blessing for everyone when the "afflicted ones," on both sides, are released. We totally understand!

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  2. Deepest sympathy, Ginnie. Take care! Safe travels.

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    1. Thank you, dear Marie, for your sympathy...and travel mercies.

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  3. I really like those pictures of her with the book, showing it to all the kids... so sad, but she is definitely in a better place, if she was sick you know...
    so you will be going back! i'm kind of glad to hear that, i think it will be good for all concerned... <3

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    1. In her best times, Elaine, Peggy was so relational with everyone she met. We all are happy she is now released from her pain. And yes, it will be good for me to be with my sibs during this time of grief. Thanks.

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  4. Oh Boots, how beautiful. I love the pictures of Peggy reading too, which I think was a farm day here at our place. You are so right that she sought out individuals to sit and converse, find out what was making them tick. We talk about that a lot in our little family, and what a role model she was.

    I see here that Vagabonde's husband has also passed. I am sorry to hear it, and I also know what a struggle it has been for a very long time. My condolences to her.

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    1. Yes, Ruth, That was the Farm Day in 2006. What great memories that I still hold dear. THIS is who Peggy was, indeed.

      And yes, I heard from Vagabonde recently about Jim. These are days of remembering how Life is short.

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  5. p.s. I just stole her FB profile pic when I shared the top photo on FB. I don't know who took it.

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    1. Ahhh. I was pretty sure you hadn't taken the pic, Ruth, but wanted to credit you for having found it. Thanks.

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  6. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, my thoughts are with you xx

    It is good that you will be able to travel to be with your family at this difficult time.

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    1. Thank you for your condolences, Cherry. This is the first of the many to come, so it feels important to be with the family right now, even though we were just there in May. I ponder in my heart that it "starts" with Nelson's family. Though that may seem logical, it was not expected.

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  7. This is a beautiful post about Peggy and I am so sorry for her loss. I only met her twice and that was last May. By the pictures I can tell what a wonderful person she was. I think it is good that we go to the Memorial Service to be together for a final farewell.

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    1. It's all coming together, Astrid, for another trip back to the sibs, after having just been there in May. I'm so very glad you had a chance to meet Peggy "in real life."

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  8. Very sorry to hear of this loss. When my time comes may it be as speedy. We are especially thinking of you today.

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    1. I think we all hope our time will be as speedy as this, Ted, even though Peggy had been sickly for years. It's clear to me that she is now the first of what will be many "endings" for our generation in the next years to come. Quite sobering.

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    2. Yes, this year especially I have become aware of too many of my contemporaries experiencing serious health issues. I had no idea there was that kind of “shrinking horizon” to aging. May we both have many more years of rosebud gathering. But at my back…. Stay well.

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear of her passing, but also can understand the relief for the person suffering. As we age it's certainly a wake up call to how much time we have remaining...that's for sure. Safe travels and know you all will be in my thoughts. xo

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    1. Thank you for your condolences, dear Robin. The "coin" is always two-sided, as we both know. For sure there will be for Nelson a renewed lease on life, even while he holds the memories forever in his heart.

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